The Myth of Normal 161
his excellent book No Contest: The Case Against Competition: Why We Lose in Our Race to Win, which documents the negative impact of competition on genuine learning, and how competition, praise, grades, rewards, and sanctions imposed on recalcitrant children destroy intrinsic motivation and undermine emotional security.[18] “Does praise motivate kids? Sure it does,” Kohn sarcastically remarks. “It motivates kids to get praise.” “And?” you might ask. “What’s wrong with well-deserved kudos?” It turns out that there’s praise, and then there’s praise. Developmental psychologists agree that praising a child’s effort is helpful and promotes selfesteem, while valuing the achievement only programs kids to keep seeking external approval—not for who they are but for what they do, for what others demand of them. It’s yet another barrier to the emergence of a healthy self. For all our love and dedication as parents and educators, the world in which we must rear children these days undercuts our best efforts in a multitude of ways, all masquerading as “just the way it is.” There is no “just” about it: the consequences are massive. The present, as it presently is, beggars the future.